I Guess Chimps Don't Like Being Pets

I agree with this guy's attitude towards zoos:

A canny chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead just like humans, a Swedish study said Monday.

I think it's telling that premeditated violence is the hallmark of human-like behavior.

Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared.

According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said. ...

Seemingly at ease with his position as leader of the group, Santino didn't attack the other chimpanzees .... The attacks were only directed at humans viewing the apes across the moat surrounding the island compound where they were held.

The bad news:

However, he rarely hit visitors because of his poor aim, and no one was seriously injured in the cases when he did ....

If you're worried, it may be an isolated incident:

[I]ndividual differences are big among chimpanzees so the observation might not mean all chimpanzees are capable of the same planning.

"It could be that he is a genius, only more research will tell. On the other hand our research showed the same in orangutans and bonobos so he is not alone," [a researcher] said.  ...

To treat the "genius" (and I suppose, to prevent his genius from being passed on), they castrated him.

Interesting how he built the stockpile:

[T]he chimpanzee had also been observed tapping on concrete boulders in the park to identify weak parts and then knocking out a piece. If it was too big for throwing, he broke it into smaller pieces, before adding them to his arsenal.

"It is very special that he first realizes that he can make these and then plans on how to use them." .... "This is more complex than what has been showed before."

The fact that the ape stayed calm while preparing his weapons but used them when he was extremely agitated proves that the planning behavior was not based on an immediate emotional drive.

Sounds like a spree shooter. Don't give that chimp a gun, please.

Comments

[Ruth]

Poor Santino. I really hate zoos.

[Emphyrio]

Time for some Planet of the Apes sequels!

[Hubris Sonic]

Take your stinking hands off me, you damned dirty human!

[R.Mutt]

Santelli's rant was premeditated too.

[r€nato]

Give that chimp a job on CNBC or Fox News Channel!

[brendancalling]

FREE SANTINO!!

[Rick]

That chimp's smarter than most of the people I know.

[ed]

Poor Santino. I really hate zoos.

Modern zoos' primary mission is species survival. Education is a big deal too. I generally agree with your point, but you may wish to keep that in mind.

[Samsin]

In other news, one Chimpanzee needed a name and was asked to pick it out of a dictionary as the amused crowd watched on. He whipped through the pages blindly until landing on "C". On closer inspection his finger landed on the word "Caesar."

Veterinarians the next day castrated the poor chimp.

[Peter Principle]

To treat the "genius" (and I suppose, to prevent his genius from being passed on), they castrated him.

Well, you know, the chips tried to do that to Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. So I guess it's only fair.

Although personally I was rooting for the chimps in both cases.

[captain freedom]

"the bad news"

hilarious

[ferd]

"I'm Chimpacus!"

"I'M Chimpacus!!"

"I'M CHIMPACUS!!!"

[dilla]

How very "2001: A Space Odyssey" of him.

Which human genius made the call to castrate rather than see if the monkey's genius was genetic? Best not look too deeply into such things, apparently.

It's hilarious that they called his aggressive behavior "anti-social" -- hmmm. Living in a cage. Stared at and likely taunted by idiotic humans. Sounds like a postal worker.

[Dexter Morgan]

Well, you know, the chips tried to do that to Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes. So I guess it's only fair.

Although personally I was rooting for the chimps in both cases.

Not to be pedantic but I believe it was the corrupt Orangutan elite who wanted Taylor (i.e., "Bright Eyes") castrated. If I remember correctly Zira wanted "Bright Eyes" to mate with Nova.

[Izak]

Anti-social behavior? He did not attack the other chimpanzees. I don't think the chimp could have any reasonable expectation of social interaction with zoo visitors.

[Northern Observer]

Is this a sign of the Rapture?

[Jacob]

"I think it's telling that premeditated violence is the hallmark of human-like behavior."

Seriously? Humans are one of the deadliest animals to ever stomp around in the dust. We may lack the natural weapons of your average bear, shark or bear/shark hybrid, but as far as I know we're the animal kingdom's masters of warfare and genocide. Give us enough time and we will use our big piles of gray matter and white matter to kill the shit out of anything: just ask the neanderthals, do-dos and small pox.

I would think that if you were to make a list of the most human qualities and leave off premeditated violence and cruelty then you'd be either overly kind to us as a species or flattering yourself. ;)

[Mithras]

That's what I said. I just used fewer words: "Hallmark." Lying would be up there, too.

Although I think the jury is still out on whether we zeroed out the Neanderthals.

[KevStar]

I think what he really needed was a wartime consigliare.

[kelley b.]

Modern zoos' primary mission is species survival.

which is why they castrated him, I'm sure.