You know how they say a diet rich in whole grains is good for you? They lie. You know what, that stuff will fuck your shit up. That is, when you bite down on one of those multigrain rolls and one of those seeds they sprinkle on the outside, demon seeds I call them, hits your back tooth at just the right spot and breaks it in half.
Over the past two weeks I concluded (a) we don't need specialized torturers to extract information from prisoners, because all that's necessary to make anyone cooperative is a few dental tools to crack one of their back teeth below the gum line, (b) Congress needs to start an investigation into why dentists are not open between Xmas and New Year's, (c) we need universal health insurance now because a dental crown costs $1,000, and (d) oxycodone is the shit. In fact, it's so good my friends now have orders to make sure I never get a hold of any more. That's a opiate vacation I might never want to come back from.
I have recently paid a diet expert $110.00 to tell me what I was eating wrong. Outside of practically everything, they told me to eat lots of porridge for breakfast, the old fashion stuff, not the instant shit, plus lots of crap called "Guardian" from Kelloggs. I liked the porridge, and the Guardian stuff does not taste like shit; so maybe your readers should try it.
G.S.B.
Posted by: Theoldguy | January 07, 2008 at 07:43 PM
hey, sorry about the crown. at least enjoy the oxy.
Posted by: upyernoz | January 07, 2008 at 10:18 PM
Alte Kerl-
I liked the porridge, and the Guardian stuff does not taste like shit; so maybe your readers should try it.
You mean oatmeal? You can't eat that, you can only cook with it. Never even heard of "Guardian". I thought that was British military equipment.
Nozzzzz-
at least enjoy the oxy.
Dude. I am the original addictive personality. I can't do any more of it.
Posted by: Mithras | January 08, 2008 at 12:32 AM