Have You Ever Seen Gravity? Well, Have You?

The Onion - Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory:

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

I love The Onion.  But this theory has even more possibilities.  We can start the Intelligent Falling movement, hook up with the Flying Spaghetti Monster people and lobby legislatures to change the school curriculum.  If we succeed, we can further dumb down the populations of Red America.  If we don't, we can at least make them look ridiculous.

(Via David Pescovitz at BoingBoing.)

Comments

[Frank Emesis]

If we don't, we can at least make them look ridiculous.

When you have the president (sic) and the president wannabes saying in public that they think this garbage should be taught to our kids, making them look ridiculous is not a viable strategy. We have gone through the looking glass.

[Cyn]

Have you seen the boing boing Intelligent Design contest?