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August 08, 2005


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I guess you broke the first rule of political humor: it's only funny if a liberal is the target.

Mr. bird,


How in the hell would you know anything about liberality when all you spout is illiberality? What is your basis for comparison?

You haven't got one.

What you do have is a schtick. An image of some right wing tough guy with a leather cut-away and some goofy, macho tattoo.

When I look at the death and loss you and your ilk support with your "boost Dubya" spew I know Coulter was on the right track with her baseball bat theory, she just had the wrong people in mind.

1960: African Americans can't vote in the American South, Democrats carry almost every southern state.
2004: For the most part,African Americans allowed to vote,Republicans carry every Southern state.
Hey Hey LBJ,

Very insightful - Left out one thing though... All the racist Democrats you are referring to switched to Republicans when we started to support civil rights!

Interesting slip though, "For the most part". Wonder how the election might have turned out different if they could have voted in FLORIDA?

Lady Bird

PS Its the couch for you tonight, buddy.


Lady Bird, that was supposed to be a rank on Democrats? Wow. More of that hee-larious conservative humor we've been party to on this thread.

Like Gravity's Rainbow some things just fly right over my head.

We are going to have to tip toe around the rednecks for some time to come -- least until Bush is out of this little rough patch he's in. They's a little testy jus' now. Wonder why?

We must also show extra respect for them, during this difficult time, as they are sincere in their delusions and sincerity, of course, is what counts. The fact that they haven't been right about anything important during the past 20 years or more, should not concern us. We've got to remember all their flattering descriptions of us and not go 'French' on them. They just love us all and want us to be like them so we can join them in their Paradise.

As our old buddy Hosea said - For they sow the wind, and they reap the whirlwind. The wind is picking up and stirring the Pharisees' skirts. We must be careful or we'll spook the kooks. You don't want spooked kooks, trust me.

"Being a liberal, I assume the best about people"

Now THAT'S funny!


Clearly some things do fly over your head. My comment above was in response to LBJ's seeming point that Democrats only won the south because Blacks were not allowed to vote. I was (snarkely) making the point that all of the racist Ds of the 1960s are now Rs (Eastland, Helms, Thurmond, etc) (or dead).

I went on to say that his point regarding now was incorrect as well, by (I thought) making the point that Ds would have won the 2000 election had blacks been allowed to vote in Florida.

My post was hee-larious, but ir was hee-lariously liberal. I am assuming that you spit up the fetus blood on your computer screen and thus couldn't recognize the left wing humor. I accept your apology in advance.


Lady Bird

The content of your apology evidences
that offense was the intent and content
of the original posting. Taking offense
at its content and not judging it as
'humor' are actually expressions of a
keen sense of: 1) content that was
offensive in intent and content and
2) content lacking in any noteworthy

Your original "humor" post read like a lame attempt to be the next James Wolcott. In fact, Wolcott wannabe-ism permeates your blog.

Since Wolcott is a just a second-rate Joan Rivers wannabe, that makes your efforts doubly sad.

Just wondering - since when has jr. high-level cattiness been accepted by the left as the height of urbane wit?

I agree with Mithras that chicks are essentially tit stands, and that Asians can't be trusted to form their own opinions. I guess I'm so far right, I'm left! You rock.

I'm a giant liberal. "Tit stands" is funny. The post was funny. QED.

I like saying QED.

I thought it was pretty funny. But what the hell do I know, I'm just a disenfranchised Eisenhower Republican whose party has been over-run by facist morons.

I'm a legs and ass man, myself. Neither Malkin's face nor tits do much for me at all, but this taxonomy thing has legs, and the people who don't agree are assholes.


I wish people would just leave me alone.

Just wondering - since when has jr. high-level cattiness been accepted by the left as the height of urbane wit?

Since we decided to stoop to your level?

Jeez, conservatives actually have feelings -- not like normal human beings, of course, but still, feelings. Who knew?

"If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?"

Charles Bird?

Chucky Buzzard!

I'll say it again: one reason for MM's success has to be that she reminds angry old right-wing USN men of what they take to be imperial better times, being fellated under barroom tables at Subic Bay by "LBFMs." If she weren't cute but a middle-aged man of Asian-Pacific Islander background, they wouldn't be interested in looking at that and wouldn't feel the fatuous faux chivalrous impulse to protect her when she gets called on her racist animus against civil liberties. No wonder the rightwingers oppose affirmative action: when they practice it, they get the likes of MM.

Professor Irwin Corey accepts the National Book Award Fiction Citation for Thomas Pynchon and Gravity's Rainbow

Thursday, April 18, 1974, Alice Tully Hall, Lincoln Center, New York

Ralph Ellison's introduction:
Thank you, Jack, my apollogies if we're as...if you were as confused as I was. The jury has determined to divide the prize between two writers. To Thomas Pynchon, for GRAVITY'S RAINBOW which bridges the gap between the two cultures and puts the world of manipulation and paranoia within the perspectives of history. To Isaac Bashevis Singer for A CROWN OF FEATHERS and a life-time of distinguished work revealing a skeptical, philosophical and mischievous obses- sion with human and demonic character. I present this not to Mr. Singer, but to Mr. Pynchon.

Professor Irwin Corey:
However... accept this financial stipulation - ah - stipend in behalf of, uh, Richard Python for the great contribution and to quote from some of the missiles which he has contributed...Today we must all be aware that protocol takes precedence over procedure. Howewer you say - WHAT THE - what does this mean... in relation to the tabulation whereby we must once again realize that the great fiction story is now being rehearsed before our very eyes, in the Nixon administration... indicating that only an American writer can receive...the award for fction, unlike Solzinitski whose fiction doesn't hold water. Comrades - friends, we are gathered here not only to accept in behalf of one recluse - one who has found that the world in itself which seems to be a time not of the toad - to quote even Studs TurKAL. And many people ask "Who are Studs TurKAL?" It's not "Who are Studs TurKAL?" it's "Who am Studs TurKAL?" This in itself as an edifice of the great glory that has gone beyond, and the intuitive feeling of the American people, based on the assumption that the intelligence not only as Mencken once said, "He who underestimates the American pubic - public, will not go broke." This is merely a small indication of this vast throng gathered here to once again behold and to perceive that which has gone behind and to that which might go forward into the future...we've got to hurdle these obstacles. This is the main deterrent upon which we have gathered our strength and all the others who say, "What the hell did that get?" - We don't know. We've got to peforce withold the loving boy... And as Miller once said in one of his great novels- what did he ... that language is only necessary when communication is endangered. And you sit there bewildered, and Pinter who went further said "It is not the lack of communication but fear of communication." That's what the Goddamn thing is it's we fear - communication. Oh - fortunately the prize has only been given to authors - unlike the Academy Award which is given to a female and a male, indicating the derision of the human specie - God damn it! But we have no paranoia, and Mr. Pynchon has attained, and has created for himself serenity, and it is only the insanity that has kept him alive in his paranoia. We speak of the organ...of the orgasm...Who the hell wrote this? And the jury has determined to divide the prize between two writers - to Thomas Pynchon for his GRAVITY'S RAINBOW. Now GRAVITY'S RAINBOW is a token of this man's genius...he told me so himself...that he other words, have been more specific, but rather than to allude the mundane, he has come to the conclusion that brevity is the importance of our shallow existence. God damn. Ladies and Gentlemen. To the distinguished panel on the, on the dais and to the other winners, for poetry and religion and science. The time will come when religion will outlive its usefulness. Marx, Groucho Marx, once said that religion is the opiate of the people. I say that when religion outlives its usefulness, then opium...will be the opiate...Ahh that's not a bad idea... All right...However, I want to thank Mr. Guinzburg, Tom Guinzburg of the Viking Press, who has made it possible for you people to be here this evening to enjoy the Friction Citation - the Fiction Citation. GRAVITY'S RAINBOW - a small contribution to a certain degree, since there are over three and a half billion people in the world today. 218 of them ... million live in the United States which is a very, very small amount compared to those that are dying elsewhere...Well, I say that you will be on the road to new horizons, for we who live in a society where sex is a commodity and a politician can become a TV personality, it's not easy to conform if you have any morality...I, I, I said that myself many years ago...But I do want to thank the bureau...I mean the committee, the organization for the $10,000 they've given out...tonight they made over $400,000 and I think that I have another appointment. I would like to stay here, but for the sake of brevity I, I must leave. I do want to thank you, I want to thank Mr. TurKAL. I want to thank Mr. Knopf who just ran through the auditorium* and I want to thank Breshnev, Kissinger - acting President of the Unites States - and also want to thank Truman Capote and thank you. _________________________________________________________________________
* refering to the streaker who ran nude across the stage.
( transcribed by Richard Corey)

Hey Dabodius,I'm an angry YOUNG white Navy type,nothin wrong with gettin fellated under the table..but Subics been closed for centuries man,sorta like your Mommas twat,we just get it on the ship now adays,from some 18 yr old bee-otch.

Holy crap - the "apology" was almost as good as the original post, but man, the reactions... And you say wingnuts don't have a sense of humor! What could be funnier than some of the hysterical rantings above?! Please keep up the good work, these wingnuts are cracking me up!

I know wit. I served with wit. Wit is a friend of mine.
You, sir, are no wit.

Posted by: Samurai Sam

And isn't it telling that when a Bushevik attempts humour, its first reaction is to steal a Democrat's material.

Go Mithras! Woooo!

DraconisRex, I feel for you. I am a Dem,but my Dad has always been a Republican. He says he can no longer recognize his own party. It has taken all of the joy out of our political discussions. There was a liveliness that is no longer present because his heart is not in it.
And, MIKE G: Mithras never used one word of profanity in either of these posts. How do you equate his writing to the witty phrase "Fuck you, Moron"?

the right side of the blogosphere where the influence on current events has been vastly greater

Was that really Toby 'Comments (0)' Petzold?

Hey..i LIKE middle aged men of Asian/Paciffic Islander background

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

'If you bleed us, are we not still pricks?' -- the right-wing blogosphere.

Actually, 'The lady doth protest too much, methinks' is much more suitable here.

You scared me, for a second I thought you were serious.



Sen. Byrd-
Thanks for visiting. Give our regards to Sen. Lott and former Sen. Helms when you see them. I am sure you have lots to talk about with them, even though they still practice the kind of vile racism you have left far behind.

I dont speak to those 2 race mixin white niggers no mo' since they voted for dat kinky haired ,go-rilla faced,black as tar,clarence thomas back in 91'. That buck eben got him a waht wife!!!He think he too good for dat nice slice of dark meat Anita Hill...ooommmm boy she was sweeeeettt...

I voted agin dat Jive talkin,non showerin,Brown vs Board Education litigatin,NIGGER,Thrugood Marshall back in 67' go fuck ya'all selfs.

You know, sometimes I wonder if righty trolls are just lefties trying to make the righties look bad. Then I think, what if they're really right-wingers trying to troll badly so people THINK it's a left-winger trying to make righties look bad.

Then my head starts to hurt and I have to stop thinking about it ...

funny how Republicans trying to defend their current party always bring up Se. Byrd. If you really think that a man cannot admit he was wrong and move on, I guess that is why you love Dubya so much. He does neither.

Also - Yaron, though your comments are a long way up, and buried by faux-Johnson/Byrd posts, please show me any examples to back up this:
"What's the conservative solution? Ending workplace discrimination through lawsuits and market pressure, such as boycotts." please.

Conservatives don't have a sense on humor that depends on nuance or irony or anything subtle because they are fearful people trying to conserve things the way they are.

They either are not trained, or maybe don't have the ability, to see any shade of grey.

Can you name a comedian who has a conservative world view? All they can understand are pranks, pies in the face and slapstick. It has to be black and white. Oh, that's probably why they like Michelle Malkin.. throw in blackface too.

It's pretty funny to me that some Right Winger is trying to make Sen. Byrd look bad, but at the same time is using some of the most offensive language I have the misfortune of reading on a non Right Wing site. Come on, guy or girl, you use the syntax and terms of a racist too well to not have that attitude floating around in you Neanderthal-like noggin.

As for the apology, like BOB says "FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE".

This post made me laugh more than the other one.


By the way, no one in America plays the victim better than the 'American Conservative'- they lack a sense of humor along with any principles.

Hey Dabodius,I'm an angry YOUNG white Navy type,nothin wrong with gettin fellated under "the table..but Subics been closed for centuries man"...

OK LT. Mitchell, if in fact you REALLY are a Navy Lt, read what the man said...

"I'll say it again: one reason for MM's success has to be that she reminds ANGRY OLD RIGHT-WING USN men"...(emphasis added.)

As a Viet Nam vet who spent 20 in the good ol' USN, I found most of the ENSIGNS I came across could at least read and understand English and context.

And if you're gettin' it on the ship, she (or maybe HE) had better not be enlisted!

Hope your ass gets extended in the IO (Indian Ocean, for those not Navy) 'cuz pResident "Bring 'em on" has hurt recruiting like no one else EVER has.

On behalf of liberals everywhere, I'd like to apologise for Mithras's apology. The arrogant assumption that conservatives would welcome a sense of humor, or indeed a sense of proportion, real personalities, or the ability to understand and use wit in their daily lives, is the worst form of elitism.

We are truly truly sorry that, by suggesting you grow up and learn to laugh, Mithras has threatened that which is most valuable to your self-image, your sense of victimization. Lord knows, after taking over all three branches of the government, leading the country into an unnecessary and costly war, exposing the US to the world as a country that tortures and kills prisoners, and ruining American finances for a decade or more, it must be difficult for you to keep this image of yourselves as cruelly repressed by liberals.

And yet, you do. That's admirable. Mithris should be ashamed of himself for threatening this.

Really, we're sorry.

I'm glad the taxonomy has been getting some attention. I wasn't aware of his blog until the wingnuts started whining about it. And I even live in Philly. If it weren't for the trees in the picture I could show approximately where.

"For you to develop a sense of humor organically, you would first have to have a certain amount of intelligence... "

Thank you for pointing out that everyone who disagrees with you does so because they're just, just, just so... stoopid.

Otherwise we wouldn't have any way to know how much smarter you are than eveybody else. Kudos!

I'd also like to apologise for the apology, because it has led to a string of right-wing trolling comments that show off their wingnut authors for being not only humorless and tin-eared, but also marginally literate. Sorry about that.

Man,I would die for a Lucky right now.

NAVOSHO,yeah I really am a Navy LT,with some 800 hrs in T-34,T-45,and FA-18C,congrats on your vietnam service,that turned out really well.Youre right about 1 thing,I'm out to the airlines as soon as my obligation is up,its not that I dont like dropping napalm on arabs,its just the goverment check isnt really enough. We're not a little homophobic are we??They did away with that "dont ask dont smell stuff" awhile ago to Old dude.

Is it just me, or do some of these conservatives need a hug?

We all know that Conservatives can dish out the criticism, but they can't take it.

Kathleen - I didn't see your comment until now, because I didn't bother checking back on what's looking like a thought-free discussion thread. Anyway, I don't know quite what you mean by "evidence", but here's an editorial from a conservative standpoint arguing for fines and lawsuits in place of affirmative action to counter discrimination:

Just wondering - since when has jr. high-level cattiness been accepted by the left as the height of urbane wit?

Since we decided to stoop to your level?

Copycat. The left can't even come up with their own material, they can't even decide what their own attitudes are. No wonder no one votes for you.

Putting the ethnic and gender issues aside (and slightly barbed language that was obviously meant as a joke), The Conservative Blog Taxonomy's attack on Michelle Malkin's politics was more than fair game. She's another vacuous, publicity seeking, petulant right wing extremist. We previously posted a similar piece regarding the unfortunate rise of preening, dimwitted talking heads like Ann Coulter.

What They Didn't Teach Ann Coulter at Michigan Law School

If these people put there inane views and illogical arguments in the public arena, they can't whine and complain when people call them on it.

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