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« A Short Break From Unremitting Sarcasm and Gloom | Main | Religion of Peace »

March 28, 2005


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I know I don't comment much here (I think this may be my first comment), but I do enjoy reading Fables!

Of course, my eyes glaze over for most of the political stuff... but I had noticed the porn links.

Mmmmm, porn.

It's good and good for you.

Hey, I noticed the porn, too, and I even clicked through on a few! But not while at work. Despite the laxity around here--not getting paid for months tends to destroy whatever atoms of motivation might have existed--mastubating in my office, or even reading porn in my office, would probably be beyond the pale.

If I weren't getting paid at work, I would have to be masturbating on someone in order to keep showing up. Someone attractive. But maybe that's just me.

Oh, it's a long ugly story, complete with lawsuits, founder issues, etc. I show up because staying home is even more depressing, most days. And, hey, I got a paycheck last week! And I'm getting another one tomorrow! So I'm only missing nine. This all explains why I'm starting school in July to be a pastry chef.

Either they're just reading the feed or they're losing interest before they scroll down that far - hmmm, I wonder which it is?

Or they are so entranced by your honeyed words that they neglect to look sideways?

Or, like me, they read down, but not down far enough, because you kept bloody posting regularly, and what with reading far too many blogs already, I had to limit myself to current fare...

what with reading far too many blogs already

Do you use a feed reader, like Bloglines? I read about 250 blogs a day that way.

I read about 250 blogs a day that way.

And you still have time to work and beat people?

I multitask. Plus, caffeine is my friend.

You beat people? clearly, I didn't go through the archives . . .

Only when they ask nicely.

I don't think it's in the archives; it's just an aside in the About section. I started off here intending to talk about BDSM, but it turns out to be more fun to do it than discuss it.

I imagine so. But what do you like about it? I don't understand the appeal (though it doesn't offend me), and may not understand it any better if I knew more, but I'm curious to hear from someone to whom it appeals.

Well, there are many reasons why it appeals to different people. I wouldn't want to give the impression that I would speak for others. In my case, having control during sex turns me on. A lot. And inflicting pain on someone is a very primal, powerful way of controlling them.

There are, obviously, psychological reasons behind it. But in terms of "reasons" in the sense of logic, that's pretty much it. Doing it turns me on. Beyond that, asking what I like about it is like asking why I like chocolate. It tastes good, that's all.

You could probably extend the food analogy. I think of power play in sex like spice. I believe - and lots of people will disagree with this - that power of some kind is at the basis of sex. I could go into a long discussion of this, but at bottom I think that someone is always the aggressor, the one doing the taking, even if it is fleeting or masked behind other feelings. Sex with others (that is, not masturbation) is like sharing a meal. Someone has the power to dole out the portions.

Making the power aspect of sex explicit is like amping up the spice in food. Certainly, not everyone would like it - probably, most people wouldn't. But some people would love it, solely because they enjoy the taste of that level of flavor. But the people who wouldn't enjoy it still use spices in their food - just not at that level, and maybe it's so ubiquitious to them that they might not even realize they're tasting it at all.

[heh heh; he said "bottom"]
I agree that there are always power aspects, but I also think that the amount varies; your spice analogy is probably a good one in some ways, though I think that power can be explicit and still not very high/strong. And I think people locate the power differently--I personally like a more back-and-forth interchange, though any particular encounter may be more one way or the other. The other thing for me is pain--"No pain" is one of my four rules. I don't like experiencing it, and, it turns out, I'm no good at inflicting it, either. But I don't think pain is a necessary part of power.

I think that power can be explicit and still not very high/strong.

Oh sure, as well as vice versa.

I don't think pain is a necessary part of power.

No, it's not. But for some, there is an immediate, visceral charge from giving/taking pain.

Nice post on poly today, by the way.

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