Fables of the reconstruction

What Passes for Republican Civility

Fill in the blank (no peeking):

___________________ today told an enthusiastic Neshoba County [Mississippi] Fair crowd that Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry is “a French-speaking socialist from Boston, Massaschusetts, who is more liberal than Ted Kennedy.”

I'll make it easy - multiple choice. The speaker is:

a. David Duke, white supremacist.
b. Pat Buchanan, right-wing pundit.
c. Pat Robertson, fundamentalist preacher.
d. Trent Lott, U.S. Senator.

Why do I think the Republican party is run by extremists? Why the fuck do you think?

(Via Digby at Hullabaloo.)

Soulseek

Soulseek.

Understated

Digby:

The more people who die in a big blue city terrorist attack the better. Dead bodies make good GOP politics. I think they've proven that.

And Foreign Hookers Must Apply in Person

Is this a joke? It must be a joke. It's a joke, right?

Immigration officers [in Canada] are having to pore through naked pictures of hundreds of exotic dancers to keep imposters out of Canada, the Toronto Sun reported Tuesday.

Foreign strippers planning to table dance in clubs must now provide photos of themselves with no clothes on to qualify for a visa for Canada, said immigration officials.

"Stage photos during performances are required," said Sergio Mercado, of the Canadian Embassy....

I guess it could be real. If it's not, it's still funny. If it is, it's hilarious.

(From Boing Boing.)

Kerry Wants 9/11 Commission to Stay - And Get Their Changes Implemented

Running to Bush's right on national security? No, just injecting some sense and reminding people how reluctant Bush was to have a commission at all in the first place.

Democratic presidential candidate John F. Kerry called Tuesday for extending the mandate of the commission that investigated the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, saying it should keep working for an additional 18 months to help ensure that its recommendations are implemented.

If Bush thinks Kerry's going to let him walk all over him on the 9/11 issue, he better have another think.

Atrios' Real Name is Duncan Black

At long last, here's the man whose real name is Duncan Black:

He's certainly less geeky-looking than I thought.

P.S. - First seen at TalkLeft.

The "Duncan Black" thing could still be a joke. I always figured Atrios for an economist, and Duncan Black was some famous economist who died in 1991.

Or, Atrios could be the son. Who knows.

Update July 27, 2004:

Duncan B. Black holds a PhD in economics from Brown University. He has held teaching and research positions at the London School of Economics; the Université catholique de Louvain; the University of California, Irvine; and, recently, Bryn Mawr College. He also has been involved with grassroots political activism. Black is a Senior Fellow at Media Matters for America.

Brown Ph.D. in economics, teaches at Bryn Mawr. I didn't figure him for an academic, because he spoke on the radio and I thought that he wouldn't want his students to recognize him. So, is Atrios the son of the famous Duncan Black? Looks like. Amazing.

RebatesHQ.com

A word of advice: If you ever buy any kind of electronic equipment, and it comes with a rebate, do NOT use RebatesHQ.com to apply for the rebate.

That is all.

Everything's Ruined

Typepad claims another kill from Blogger/Blogspot. John-Paul has relocated. Update your links accordingly.

Update July 28, 2004: I'm embarrassed. I spelled the guy's name wrong. Sorry, J-P.

Blogger Down!

Rick at Radically Inept decides to call it quits and says he hates humanity so he'll vote Bush because he's the only candidate whose policies will end existence. I can sympathize.

Incidentally, I hate it when people say things like "Things will have to get a lot worse before they'll get better." What a dumbass comment. It's usually said by Greeniacs and people of similar mindset who say, "If Bush wins this election then the people will really see the error of their ways." No they won't, you stupid fucks. People don't learn, they react. If they learned, we wouldn't have a Republican party as currently constituted. If things get a lot worse, then they will continue to get worse, followed by getting even worse. Fools.

Beautiful Agony

Beautiful agony.

(Via SexBlogs.org.)

Domestic Terrorist

Non-Lawyers Crack Me Up

The folks at Obsidian Wings (where I am not allowed to go to make fun of them directly) have been really on a roll with posts by non-lawyers about laws they know nothing about. Recently, it was resident conservatwit Sebastian Holsclaw on judicial interpretation, which was too lame to even comment on.

Today's unintentional hilarity is provided by Edward, who expresses shock and dismay that a man is being forced to pay child support for a child when he had an "oral agreement" with the mother he was donating sperm to that he would be relieved of such obligations. Edward says, "Surely this will be overturned on appeal." Um, no. If you donate sperm to someone you know, you're the daddy. If you want an enforceable oral agreement that will protect you from paternity, come in her mouth. There are laws in certain states that allow unknown donation through a sperm bank to relieve you of parental responsibilities (and rights, it works both ways.) But if you jerk off into a cup so your bestest female friend can do the turkey-baster trick, then you better get a good job, my friend, whether you have something in writing or not.

To be a teensy bit fair to Edward, the article quotes some shmuck from the University of Pennsylvania who says this could happen to anyone who donates sperm. Um, again, no. If there is a law that provides for unknown-donor protection through a sperm bank, it is really, really unlikely to happen. On the other hand, if you "donate" to her some night after a couple of drinks, you're a dad, no matter what she tells you.

Memos to Ourselves

Memos to ourselves.

Frogmarch!

Swopa at Needlenose and Lauren Rozen at War and Piece engage in informed speculation that indictments in the Plame case are forthcoming, because of suspicious media stories that appear to lay the groundwork for a press, if not legal, defense.

Frogmarch!

Democratic Convention Schedule Released

By the way, it's pretty clear The Onion got the message conservatives weren't happy with them.

Blogs Have Become The New Dot-Coms

Over at Denise Howell's Bag and Baggage, I saw this quote (from comments here) and had to laugh:

"My biggest fear is that we are coming to a time where 'blogs' have become the new 'dot-coms.'"

[Snark for the lawyers:] Yeah, I'm about to close on Fables of the reconstruction's $50 million Series C round (with no antidilution rights!). Our monthly burn rate is down to $1.5 million, we're talking to the underwriters, and we're exploting our first-mover advantage in the liberal-political-rage headspace. Profitability? Sometime later this decade. But who cares about that? We're flying The Pixies in for the staff party on Friday.

[Snark for normal people:] Bloggers are writers. Worrying about too much hype for writing is akin to worrying that we'll get sidetracked by all the groupies and free drugs people start throwing at us.

I don't think you need to worry about it.

Iraq Sadness

More than three months ahead of the schedule I predicted, the 900th American soldier has died in Iraq.

Even sadder for me, one of the deaths that pushed the total to 900 affected my girlfriend's family. (I am being deliberately vague for privacy reasons.)

Nine hundred American families and untold thousands of Iraqis devastated by a war of aggression, based on lies and executed incompetently. If there were any justice in the world, Bush would be tried for war crimes, convicted and hanged.

Perp Walk

(By American Leftist, via Terrance at Republic of T.)

Congressional Seat Suddenly Up for Grabs

eRobin at Fact-esque reports unofficially that 8th District Pennsylvania (Bucks, part of Montco, and part of Northeast Philly) Congressman Jim Greenwood (R) is dropping out of the race, and the Repubs are scrambling to find someone to replace him.

The Democratic challenger is Ginny Schrader, who needs your donation right now. The 8th is a swing district that went for Gore in 2000, and with the GOP is disarray, this could be a pickup for the good guys. So, go give Ginny some support.

Hersh's ACLU Speech Transcribed

Here is the full text of Seymour Hersh's speech to the ACLU membership meeting, from Lisa Williams at Learning the Lessons of Nixon.

Untied We Stand

Dave Johnson at Seeing The Forest:

"Politicizing Terrorism? Nah..."

We Only Like Trannies in Our Porn

Mike at Topdog04.com:

Either it was overlooked, or it was considered too much of a risk, but once again, gender identity and expression have been excluded from the Democratic party's platform plank on workplace discrimination. I realize most people's views of the transgender were formed by watching Jerry Springer, but because I have a close friend who is transgendered and see her discriminated against regularly, I can tell you this is an important issue that needs to be addressed.

It's funny that he cites HRC as an organization standing up for trans rights, given the huge fight that trans people have had with HRC. Even gay and lesbian people aren't comfortable with working for protection from discrimination for transexual people. Gay rights activism has entered the "respectable" phase, and they don't want to be tarred by association with those "weirdos". As someone once said to me, "How do you pronounce LGBT? The B is soft and the T is silent."

Legal protections for trans people aren't going anywhere for the forseeable future, outside of anomolies like the hate-crimes law here in Pennsylvania (which I think was passed when everyone in Harrisburg was high) or executive orders on the part of individual governors and mayors. Legislative action? Presidents taking a stand in favor of trans rights? Forget it.

Known Unknowns

Moral clarity:

Q [Helen Thomas:] Does the President -- does the United States harbor or hold secret detainees who are not available to the International Red Cross?

MR. McCLELLAN: Actually, this is an issue that came up earlier in the week and I talked about it at that point. When it comes to the International Committee for the Red Cross, we work very closely with them on detainee issues, and we --

Q I have a follow-up.

MR. McCLELLAN: Okay -- we stay in close and regular contact with the Red Cross on all the issues related to detainees. And they do, from time to time, raise issues and we work to address those issues directly --

Q Why don't you answer the question? Do we have secret detainees and is it possible that they could be subjected to the same treatment as in Baghdad prisons?

MR. McCLELLAN: We work to address these issues that the Red Cross raises directly with the Red Cross. And any issues that they have, we respond directly to the --

Q That's not the answer to the question.

MR. McCLELLAN: -- Red Cross. We meet with them on a regular basis at a variety of levels, and we stay in close and constant contact with them. And I really don't have anything else to add to this issue.

Q You don't know whether we have secret detainees --

MR. McCLELLAN: Like I said, Helen, I don't have anything else to add to this issue.

Q Why?

MR. McCLELLAN: Go ahead.

Well, that makes me proud of my government.

(Via Holden guesting at Eschaton.)

Securing Liberty

Information security expert Bruce Schneier:

Security is multifaceted; there are many threats from many different directions. It includes the security of people against terrorism, and also the security of people against tyrannical government. ...

The Constitution (which includes the Bill of Rights) was designed to ensure the security of people: American citizens and visitors. Its limitations on governmental power are a security measure. Its enshrinement of human rights is a security measure. These measures were developed in response to colonial tyranny by Britain, and have been extended in response to abuses of power within our own country. Laws mandating speedy trial by jury, laws prohibiting detention without charge, laws regulating police behavior -- these are all laws that make us more secure. Without them, government and police power remains unchecked. ...

Surely none of us wants to live under a government with the right to arrest anyone at any time for any reason, and to hold that person indefinitely without trial.

The Bush administration has countered that it cannot try these people in public because that would compromise its methods and intelligence. Our government has made this claim before, and invariably it turned out to be a red herring. ...

We need to carry on these principles of fair and open justice, both because it is the right thing to do and because it makes us all more secure. The United States is admired throughout the world because of our freedoms and our liberties. The very rights inherent in these Supreme Court cases are the rights that keep us all safe and secure. The more our fight against terrorism is conducted within the confines of law, the more it gives consideration to the principles of fair and open trial, due process, and "innocent until proven guilty," the safer we all are.

Unchecked police and military power is a security threat -- just as important a threat as unchecked terrorism. There is no reason to sacrifice the former to obtain the latter, and there are very good reasons not to.

(Via coprolalia.)

Tease ...

Laura Rosen at War and Piece:

Heads Up: Knight Ridder is going to break something big in tomorrow's papers.....

What a Rorschach test for the blog world. My guess is: "Sealed Grand Jury Indictment Issued Against President, Other High Officials in Plame Inquiry." Hey, a guy can dream.

Interrogators Sodomized Children In Front of Their Mothers At Abu Ghraib - and Videotaped It

Ed Cone:

Seymour Hersh says the US government has videotapes of boys being sodomized at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

"The worst is the soundtrack of the boys shrieking." ... Hersh says there was "a massive amount of criminal wrongdoing that was covered up at the highest command out there, and higher." ...

He called the prison scene "a series of massive crimes, criminal activity by the president and the vice president, by this administration anyway…war crimes."

In the same video from which Cone transcribed Hersh's remarks, Hersh says that the boys were sexually assaulted in front of their mothers, who then wrote to their menfolk, asking that the men come to the prison and kill them. Because they couldn't live anymore with the shame and the horror of what had happened.

Double Your Money; Register Twice As Many Voters

America Coming Together (ACT) is registering 7 million people in swing states for the upcoming election. They have an anonymous donor (Soros?) who will match any contribution made between now and the end of July. Go!

A Great Blogger Turns Pro

Terrance of Republic of T has landed a job as a professional blogger. It literally could not happen to a nicer guy.

Now, if only there were a market for angry, abrasive bloggers of average talent, I'd be all set.

Glenn Reynolds Must Be So Disappointed

Did you hear the collective right-wing blog world shit themselves with glee the other day, when it was reported that a woman in France was attacked by Muslims on the subway, because they mistook her for a Jew, and no one tried to help her?

Uh oh, better back the fuck up, morons:

Doubts surround 'swastika attack'

Doubts are growing about a reported anti-Semitic attack on a woman and her baby that stunned France.

Police have found no evidence or witnesses, four days after the alleged assault took place on a train in the suburbs of Paris. ...

Police are advising caution as their investigations continue, noting that there are some contradictions in the woman's account.

The woman said she was attacked on a suburban train on Friday. The gang, who mistook her for a Jew, cut her hair, slashed her clothes and daubed her body with swastikas, she said.

The men, described as of North African appearance, are also said to have tipped her 13-month-old baby from her pram. According to the woman, about 20 people could have seen the attack but so far no-one has come forward.

Investigators have also been studying footage from surveillance cameras at the train station where the six alleged attackers were supposed to have got out but have found nothing.

French media report that the young woman has filed several complaints in the past about being the victim of violence.

Better get that kid into protective services before she is "attacked" again.

(Link from mac at pesky'apostrophe.)

A Mean Idea to Call My Own

Long story; short pier:

Defend marriage? You pathetic, deluded fools. Same-sex couples have been getting married all around you for decades, and they’ll keep on doing it, long after you’ve passed your little amendment. Men will kiss their husbands as you clap yourselves on the back, and wives will continue to feed each other cake, whether you will it or no. They’ve always had the love and the cherish and the honor, and the recognition of their friends and family, and nothing you can do will take that from them. Nothing. All you’ll manage to do is rewrite the tax code. Make it more of a grinding hassle to deal with insurance and wills. Keep loving families apart at times of illness and accident and death. Condemn children to needless, nightmarish legal quagmires. You will tarnish all our rings, and when we open our mouths to take our vows, we will taste ashes. —In order to save marriage, you will destroy it. Fools.

The Party of Personal Responsibility

Long story; short pier:

Republicans in the House took more than 140 hours of testimony to investigate whether the Clinton White House misused its holiday card database but less than five hours of testimony regarding how the Bush administration treated Iraqi detainees.

A Foreign Leader Prefers Bush

Maybe Colin Powell Can Show Us Some Charts

The Department of Homeland Security is announcing it has information that al Qaeda is in "active mode" during the election convention season in the United States. Some Democrats charge that the threat is bogus and designed to affect the election.

I don't believe the national Republican party would lie about the threat of terrorism just in order to take over a country ..... Oh.

Never mind.

It's Kerry/Edwards

Kerry picks Edwards as VP candidate, just heard on NPR.

Happy 4th!

Just because, here's Spoon:

No, You're Not

Go knock 'em dead, okay, kid
I'm not a man, least not yet
I'm not a man, just a pillar of salt on the ground

Tell us your name, that's what they say
I ain't got a name, just a current address
And I said, know what you know
I never thought a kiss could be
I never thought a kiss could be
I never thought a kiss could be
I never thought a kiss could be

so cold.

so now the pissoff's taking hold
and you can tell they're all looking at you
feel so inert it starts to hurt
so that's your name and I tell myself, hmmm
don't say that you're coming back cause no you're not
you're coming back cause no you're not
don't say that you're pleased to meet cause no you're not
don't say you're coming back cause no you're not

Note To U.S. Military: Please Understand You're Being Used

Me, from last August:

[W]e're going to train a few Iraqis to go out there and take the brunt. They'll be able to violate human rights at will, and no one will be able to complain. They can say, hey, at least we're not Saddam. All the better if the 'insurgency' continues so the new government - backed by a strong American military presence - can impose dictatorial rule and prevent our nightmare of a popularly elected Sharia-based government.

The Guardian, now:

American military police yesterday raided a building belonging to the Iraqi ministry of the interior where prisoners were allegedly being physically abused by Iraqi interrogators. ...

Iraqi ministry of interior officials admitted that around 150 prisoners taken during a raid four days before in the Betawain district of Baghdad had been physically abused during their arrest and subsequent questioning.

(Via Digby. Emphasis added.)

First of all, everyone, please notice the non-response of the public to this story. The Iraqis fucking admitted they are abusing prisoners, okay? When Americans torture, it's a scandal. When our proxies torture, it's self-rule. Draw the appropriate conclusion.

Second: Look, American military people: you're a pawn in this game, okay? Whatever you think you're doing in Iraq, what's really happening is very different. You think you're trying to create a democracy and a peaceful society? You're not. You're there to provide the means to create a U.S.-aligned regime that can keep itself in power no matter what the people of Iraq want. Like Saddam, back when Saddam was our buddy who was killing Iranians. You're there to set up the new Saddam. Please try not to get your asses shot off participating in a farce. Don't try to be all heroic, it would just square the absurdity.

Tweedledumber

I have been neglecting my humor intake, because you know, there's nothing fucking funny in the world right now and amusing yourself while your country and your society is effectively murdering untold thousands of people at home and abroad in order to protect corporate interests is the nadir of decadence, so now I read Fafblog! to make up for it:

I pop in a tape of Young and the Restless from last Friday an Ralph Nader does some ironing an mails vital culture-altering communiques to Michael Moore on weight gain, John Kerry on electoral strategy, the Congressional Black Caucus on bein a discriminated an harassed minority, an his supermarket on the placement of soup cans.

There's no editing but it's better for it.