So, I was laid low today by some really ugly virus. All I want to do is lie down. So I am lying in bed about an hour ago and hear drip, drip, drip, coming from somewhere. Turns out to be a leak in the bathroom ceiling. It hit me that I had scrupulously cleared the snow off my front walk, but didn't even think twice about the roof. What a moron. The roof is flat and has only one downspout, which makes it easy to spring leaks when something obstructs the spout and causes water to stand in pools. So I crawl out the ceiling hatch (there's a roof deck up there, too, and that's how you get up) in my weakened state to clear the snow off in the dark. Of course, I don't have a snowshovel, so I take the lid from my clothes hamper up there with me. It's flat and stiff enough to shovel with.
Well, turns out the downspout was clogged by ice, not snow. A solid sheet of ice about 3 inches thick that ran along the entire edge of the roof. The edge, I might add, is two stories up and I hate heights. So I do what any nitwit does when confronted with a big problem: I went and got the hammer. And got down on my knees in the snow and hammered at the ice inches from the edge of the roof, chunks springing off in the dark so hard they flew across the neighbor's yard and pinged off his windows. It's remarkable to me that I could drum on my roof with a big hammer in the middle of the night, sending ice flying, and as far as I know no one so much as peeked out: "Oh, look dear. It's that crazy Mithras guy up on his roof, wielding tools again."
So after about half an hour of chopping on my knees, my hands frozen around the hammer (I had visions of it flying out of my grasp and crashing through the neighbor's window), pants soaked, I managed to dig a channel in the ice from the bathroom vent pipe, which is carrying warmth up that is causing the melt, to the downspout. Tomorrow afternoon, I will get back up there with a proper shovel (assuming one of my neighbors is not as big a moron as I am) and rock salt.
In the meantime, I have Return of the King Extended DVD to watch. So, being sick is not all bad.